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For years, Africa’s resource curse has been blamed on the usual suspects.

The United States with its dollar diplomacy, or China with its Great Wall of mining concessions. But now, stepping quietly into the room like a cat in silk slippers, is the UAE. And unlike Russia, which blunders about like a drunk bear in a crystal shop, the UAE has been to slipping in under the radar, shaking a few hands and leaving with half the vault.

The UAE boasts over 20 gold refiners and 7,000 traders, importing more than 1,000 tonnes a year. Where does most of it come from? Africa. How many gold mines does the UAE have? None.

Of course, the gold doesn’t just fall into their laps. Sudan, Libya and Chad are perfect places to invest if your idea of ethical business is something between a pirate raid and a Kremlin style “peacekeeping mission.”

The UAE’s cosy ties with Sudan’s Rapid Support Forces (RSF) have been whispered about for years. Just as the indicted Russian dictator uses mercenary outfits like Wagner to do the messy bits, the UAE seems happy to subcontract chaos to the likes of CODECO in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

CODECO (Cooperative for the Development of Congo) was once an innocent sounding agricultural cooperative, but now resembles a machete wielding book club. The United Nations has accused them of massacres. The UAE, it is alleged, supplies them with the tools to “stay competitive.”

M23 rebels in the DRC reportedly enjoy support funnelled through Rwanda. The Kremlin did this in Ukraine by sending “little green men” to annex Crimea in 2014. The UAE seems to have learned that sending proxies is much cleaner for the PR photos.

Even so, the UAE has somehow convinced African leaders it is their best friend. Kenya’s William Ruto is rumoured to be helping the UAE in Sudan. Sudan has even accused the UAE of genocide against the Masalit people in West Darfur.

Some UAE soldiers have died fighting alongside the RSF, proving that sometimes they have to get their hands dirty instead of just count the gold bars.

The African Union is unable or unwilling to call out not only the UAE, but also Russia’s drinking buddies in Kampala and Kigali. Uganda and Rwanda interfere in DRC and South Sudan with all the subtlety of a bulldozer in a vegetable patch.

And just in case gold wasn’t enough, the UAE is accused of bribing its way into big projects and smuggling Africa’s wildlife to restock its own zoos. The explorers have traded pith helmets for designer sunglasses, but the plundering is the same.

The indicted Russian dictator has perfected the art of looting under the banner of “liberation” in Ukraine. His Gulf counterparts seem to be taking notes, using Africa as their quiet rehearsal stage. The difference is Africa’s tragedies rarely make the Western headlines and that is exactly how they like it.

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