(NAIROBI, KENYA) – Love is a central part of human life, but not every romantic relationship brings happiness or fulfilment. Relationship experts in Kenya have warned that many people enter into partnerships for the wrong reasons, often leading to emotional, mental, and even physical harm.
According to specialists, loneliness or nostalgia for past relationships should not be the basis for starting or rekindling romance. They caution that many people make the mistake of returning to an ex-partner, despite the reasons that caused the breakup in the first place. This, they say, is similar to repeating old mistakes.
Ken Kalii, a relationships expert, explained that lack of family acceptance can be a serious warning sign. “If your partner’s family does not welcome you, especially if around 70 per cent of them reject you, understand that there is a risk. Family is the foundation of marriage, and without their support, conflicts are likely to be ongoing. Love without blessing often ends painfully,” Kalii said.
He added that physical attraction is often mistaken for love. “It is important to be sure about what you want before entering a relationship. Are you looking for a lifelong partner or just a casual companion? A long relationship without true love at its core rarely lasts,” he said.
Experts emphasise that starting a relationship out of loneliness is a path to disappointment. Kalii noted that love cannot be a cure for isolation and, when it ends, it will often bring deeper pain due to the absence of any other foundation.
Psychologist Jane Muthoni advised that setting boundaries before marriage is essential. “Not everyone who shows affection deserves to know all your secrets or capabilities. Some people may use your personal information against you if the relationship ends badly,” she warned.
Muthoni stressed the importance of self-love before committing to someone else. “Do not let a relationship stop you from pursuing your dreams or personal growth. Those you love may leave you, but you should never abandon yourself. Never sacrifice your ambitions just to please someone else,” she said.
She also warned against rushing into romance. “A relationship that starts too quickly is often built on artificial feelings. Someone who pressures you into love may have hidden motives. Do not be swayed by sweet words or gifts. Take time to truly know someone before giving them your heart,” she advised.
Kalii added that disrespect is an early red flag. “If someone does not listen to you or value your opinion, they are not the right person to be with. This can be the first sign of emotional or even physical abuse. Relationships should be based on mutual respect and equality,” he said.
Experts also highlighted the importance of balance in love. A relationship should involve equal giving and receiving. If one partner only takes—whether it be money, time, or energy—without contributing, it is a false relationship and should be avoided before more harm is done.
Kalii concluded that a healthy romantic relationship must be built on a solid foundation. “Not everyone who enters your life is meant to be part of your love journey,” he said.